My Mini Testimony
I grew up in the church and used to be a self-professing, nominal, lukewarm Christian who used to believe in a god of my own imagination. In my twenties, I stopped going to church, and I came to the conclusion on my own that there were many paths to God and that Jesus was just one of them. Without realizing it at the time, I was trusting in my own mind and human reasoning about who God was and my own self-perceived goodness for eternal life. I held my own definitions of faith, grace, and spirituality, and I prided myself on being open-minded and being able to think for myself. I self-righteously believed I was going to heaven because I genuinely believed in God’s existence, and I figured I did more “good” things than bad things. I even prayed to the god of my own imagination on a daily basis.
I intellectually and even positively agreed with the claims of the gospel. Intellectually, I realized I was a sinner. However, I wasn’t sorry for my sins. I justified myself in my own mind and saw them as no big deal, especially in comparison to culture, society, and others who were “worse than me.” Self-righteously, I still viewed myself as a “good” person. I thought “saved by grace” meant I could live however wanted since I thought Jesus would just forgive me. In short, I trusted in my own mind and reasoning for eternal life, rather than opening the Scriptures and trusting in God’s written Word and believing in who Jesus truly is and the magnitude of what He did for me through His life, death, and resurrection. I had head knowledge of Jesus but not heart knowledge of Him, which fell epically short of true saving faith.
I was living in sin, blinded by my own pride, and willfully ignorant of the Scriptures. I was deceived and self-deceived. But God had mercy on me. It was October 2020, and it was right after I drew my first butterfly for my Mom. God granted me repentance and drew me to open the Scriptures, all by His grace. It was through His Word He gifted me with my faith to believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I was born again. So faith comes by hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). Once I was blind, but now I see.
My life has been transformed by the gospel. Like a caterpillar to a butterfly, I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Now I repent of my sins, and I follow after the real Jesus, the biblical Jesus. I seek to obey God’s Word through faith, not because I can earn His favor or earn my way to heaven by anything I do. For I am saved by grace through faith alone. But it’s because I trust who Jesus is and what Jesus has already done for me. He paid for my sins on the cross and rose again that I may have eternal life. And so I trust God’s Word: His goodness, His promises, His warnings, His commands. And I believe in God The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit - The Trinity - The One True God. I no longer live for myself, but I live a joyful, thankful, and obedient life for the One who died for me and rose again - that I may have eternal life in Him. Although I will still stumble and sin in this life, it’s God’s grace that will keep me from ever falling away from Him. I know that for how great of a sinner I am, Christ is a greater Savior. (Inspired by a quote from John Newton).