Closer Together: Why a Truce Isn’t Real Peace

Faithful love and truth will join together; righteousness and peace will embrace. Psalm 85:10

This is my Grandma and the blanket she knitted for me. I know my Grandma believed in Jesus. One day I will get to hug her again! And for the record here, my Grandma and I got along just fine! Haha. Grandma was a peacemaker. We had zero conflict and over 10,000 hugs.:)

Closer Together

Psalm 85:10 beautifully illustrates this union between love and truth, righteousness and peace. Faithful love and truth will join together; righteousness and peace will embrace. Just as love belongs to truth, righteousness belongs to peace. They join together and embrace each other. Unity is what Jesus wants for us.

There is a unique kind of healing in a heartfelt hug. It can calm a restless soul and comfort a hurting heart like nothing else. Jesus, in His infinite wisdom, knew exactly what we would need when He designed the human touch. We are wired to find security and comfort in the arms of those we love. It's beautiful how Jesus weaves His gentle grace into those quiet moments. He uses a simple hug to mend our hurts and draw us closer together and closer to Him.

Yet, during a conflict, that closeness is tested. Disagreements naturally cause tension and disrupt closeness. Because of this, taking some intentional breathing space during or after an argument can be a healthy and helpful choice for the time being. That quiet space gives us the time we need to:

• Cry out to Jesus.

• Ask Him for wisdom.

• Pray for genuine humility.

• Ask the Lord to soften both of our hearts.

• See ourselves and the situation more clearly.

• Remember our shared eternal perspective as believers.

But distance should only ever be a temporary boundary, never a permanent solution. Walking away for too long only deepens the divide, making the walls harder to break down and the silence heavier as time goes on.

We also need to remember that there is a vast difference between taking healthy space and weaponizing the silent treatment. Jesus never wants us to use silence as a tool to control someone else. That tactic is entirely merciless, leaving the person on the receiving end in a lonely, anxious place in their mind and heart. As Jesus tells us in the Beatitudes, Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. (Matthew 5:7)

Active Peacemaking

The ultimate goal is always restoration, which is why it is so important to come back together in a timely manner. However, there is no need to feel rushed or pressured. The Holy Spirit is faithful, and He will let us know exactly when the time is right. Our job is simply to listen to His encouragement and follow His gentle leading. True peacemakers pull each other back together in humility and truth. To make things right again and move toward that much-needed hug, we must:

• Listen to and believe each other: When we come back together to share our feelings, we must genuinely listen to and believe one another. True peacemakers choose to trust each other—even if they cannot, for the life of them, see the other person's side. We do this because love "believes all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7). Without trust, there is simply no foundation for a real embrace.

  
  

• Protect each other's hearts: We are not called to judge each other's hidden motives or tell the other person what their intentions or feelings are. That is a job for Jesus alone. Protecting each other means giving grace to one another’s hearts, rather than assuming the worst or thinking we know what is inside someone else's heart.

• Leave the past behind: We must resolve the issue together in the present, choosing not to dredge up old wounds. If we find ourselves constantly pulling the past into a current conflict, perhaps the Lord is gently showing us an area of unforgiveness lingering in our own hearts. He wants us to bring that hurt directly to Him so that He can heal it and take it away.

• Remember Jesus is there: Jesus promises to be personally present when believers come together to make things right.Where two are three are gathered in My name, there I am with them (Matthew 18:20)

Truce vs. Real Peace

As Jesus said in the Beatitudes, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God (Matthew 5:9). For the child of God, true peace is so much more than just the absence of war. A truce simply means we lower our heavy weapons; true peace means we experience the light and fullness of God’s righteousness. In reality, a human truce is often just a temporary pause in conflict while everyone quietly reloads. It has the power to breed a cold war—an unresolved, brewing divide that festers in silence, stirring up pride and bitterness. As a child of God, you do not have to carry the exhausting weight of a mere truce. Jesus wants us to lay down those heavy burdens and come directly to Him. He promises to give us rest (Matthew 11:28), and His truth will set us completely free (John 8:32).

Because of this, James 3:17 reminds us that the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable. True peace can never be pursued at the expense of righteousness; it requires truth, purity, and holiness (see Hebrews 12:14). True peacemakers do not just drop their weapons and walk away indefinitely. Instead, they actively work to replace conflict with God's righteousness—which usually ends up in a good, healing hug! Of course, restoration takes two, and peace is never guaranteed if the other person chooses to walk away. But Romans 12:18 gives us our Christian marching orders: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Even when we lack a perfect understanding of the other person's perspective, true peace is ultimately found through mercy and forgiveness, not through a complete understanding. This is exactly how we found true peace and reconciliation with God through faith in Jesus (Romans 5:1)—solely because of His overwhelming mercy and forgiveness toward us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). Let's choose to lean into that same mercy and forgiveness to find true reconciliation, especially with the ones we love the most.

Closer to Jesus

Ultimately, the greatest peace we could ever bring to someone is sharing the Gospel, and then continuing to remind our fellow Christians of that same Gospel truth. In Philippians 1:27, Paul encourages us to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, standing firm in one spirit and striving side by side, with one mind for the faith. This shared faith and pursuit of Jesus is what brings true peace and harmony between two sinners saved by grace. Without a shared faith and genuine love for Jesus, there is simply no lasting foundation for righteousness and peace to meet.

This perfect meeting of love, truth, righteousness, and peace was ultimately demonstrated on the cross. By grace through faith in Jesus, we are granted total forgiveness of our sins and true reconciliation with God (Romans 5:1). In a beautiful way, the cross is the ultimate hug from Jesus—gifting all those who believe in Him with eternal life and anchoring us forever in His true, perfect, and lasting peace.

Today, let's stay close to Jesus, and He will help us stay closer together.

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Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you harmony with one another in Christ Jesus. Romans 15:5

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. 2 Corinthians 13:11-13

The work of righteousness will be peace; the service of righteousness will be quiet confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17